Forget the 49ers vs. the Chiefs. This Super Bowl aloof got personal.
On Wednesday, Chronicle columnist Scott Ostler alien 49ers admirers to Kansas City, with “a accessible account to advice 49ers admirers apprentice about the burghal and the bodies they will absorb the abutting 10 canicule hating.”
Ostler’s adviser includes accessible background, such as:
“The two cities — K.C. and S.F. — accept absorbing connections. Kansas Burghal is endemic by above San Francisco Giants bullpen Madison Bumgarner.
“One of Kansas City’s nicknames is the Paris of the Plains. One of the nicknames of Paris is the San Francisco of Europe.
“San Francisco boasts Mark Twain, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Jack Kerouac and Michael Chabon amid its abundant writers. Kansas Burghal boasts the bodies who address Hallmark greeting cards.”
(Read Ostler’s abounding cavalcade here)
Ostler wrote that the Kansas Burghal columnist couldn’t be accomplished for a counterpoint, because he “was active on a beasts drive.”
Cattle drive’s over.
“Hang on to your self-driving Prius, bucko. You should’ve aloof kept sipping that Napa vino,” wrote Jeff Rosen, the Kansas Burghal Star sports editor, in acknowledgment cavalcade acquaint Thursday.
“We’ve got Patrick Mahomes, the ascendant NFL MVP. You’ve got Tom Brady’s backup.
“Good luck anytime accepting Barry Bonds into the Hall of Fame, by the way. Our best baseball player, George Brett, fabricated it on the aboriginal election with 98.2% of the vote, aloof so you apperceive how it’s done.
“And in case you didn’t apprehension because you’re too active smoker the acknowledged lettuce, Mad Bum doesn’t comedy for the Giants anymore. But we’ll accord you a canyon there because you apparently were wolfing bottomward that signature SF gourmet treat, Rice-A-Roni.”
(Read Rosen’s abounding cavalcade here)
Can’t we aloof accede we’re both bigger than Miami?
“Pregame cartage will be actual heavy, so acquiesce affluence of time to biking to the stadium. We’re talking three days. If God forbid you acquisition yourself in the Golden Glades interchange, you should carelessness your agent and walk,” wrote Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry.
Jon Schultz is a San Francisco Chronicle abettor sports editor. Email: [email protected] Twitter: @JonSchultzSF
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